Better Together — Better Apart
Jacob may have come to terms with God and with events but he still has to meet Esau (plus the 400). Nor has the old Adam completely gone away. So he hedges his bets once more, with those most disposable in the firing line. He needn’t have worried. The Esau he is to meet is not the Esau he left behind but Jacob does not know and if he did may not be ready to believe it.
After any unpleasant encounter it can be difficult to get it out of our mind, to see our adversary differently or to think that they might have changed. But Esau’s hard feelings which led him to say (27: 41) that when he next met Jacob he would kill him (though just what he meant by it we cannot be sure) have softened. After 20 years, either time has healed the wounds or Esau has mellowed with middle age. No sooner did he catch sight of Jacob than blood proved stronger than water and he ran to meet him with tears of joy, puzzled if not bemused by all the advance guards (v 8). Esau, the victim, is the one who can show generosity. Jacob, the offender, has the problem, still harbouring guilt and finding it hard to come to terms with all those years of uncalled for fear and anxiety.
On the one hand it is a touching story of a reconciliation between brothers after a quarrel and years of separation. No mention of the past, and after the release of emotional tension followed by ‘a riot of deferential bowings and honorific expressions', obviously over the top in the eyes of Esau, what we witness overall is a joyous occasion.
Yet Jacob is still not wholly trusting, a reminder that it takes more than a welcoming smile to heal a guilty conscience. Maybe once the issue is settled they both realise that their lives, if not better apart, may benefit at least from keeping some sort of distance, which apparently is what happened. High fences make good neighbours. A modest and respectful distance may be the most effective glue for some families, tribes and nations.
